Asanas, Sweat, Love, Life, & Relationships

Back ON the Wagon!

2012-01-09T20:41:00.000-08:00

Things have been good! Although at work I feel I am being swallowed alive by paperwork and follow up, and working from 8am until 7pm almost every day is getting kind of old, I know I have a great life, a great job, etc.! I am back on the Tracy Anderson/Bikram Yoga wagon, back eating healthfully, and am doing a whole body cleanse from Trader Joe's. Woke up this morning feeling super tired even though I got 9 hours of sleep! Oh well, it's Monday. What's to be expected?! :)

Tomorrow is Tuesday. TAM tomorrow morning and a YP (Young Patrons of the Portland Art Museum) meeting tomorrow night. I can do this!

Tired

2011-11-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

I know I have a good life. I know this, but dear God, I am SO tired of feeling taken advantage of. It never seems to end and call me a complainer but I don't feel like this is a complaint; it's my life struggle (we all have them) to deal with. Whether it's constantly bending over backwards for someone and never getting anything in return, or opening up to someone emotionally and never even knowing things about them until it's too late, being super generous and never seeing anything in any form being given back not even time or energy, or giving an inch and them taking a mile, it seems this is my lot in life.

Can I change it? I hope so. I'm growing so tired of it....what to do? I just want things to be good, fair, and peaceful. Is that too much to ask?? ;)

On a different note, it's crazy how you can connect with a character so much it's eerie. Watching "Black Swan" recently, I connected so much with Natalie Portman's character as she faces struggles and her dealings with her mother. Maybe it's the living at home for so long and being so over-protected and naive. But wow, I think if I had stayed in that environment for much longer maybe I would have ended up as poor Nina. Hopefully not and I've made it thus far but man, the beginning of the movie reminded me SO much of me at 18, 19, 20. Super naive. Ugh. But it sure did make me miss ballet and all of the guts and glory that go into it!! Loved Black Swan!!! :)

Falling off the wagon...

2011-10-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

The best part about falling off the wagon is getting back on, right?

I've lost my way after a fun trip to Sunriver, having too much fun for my birthday, and then getting super, super sick. Ugh. It happens and I refuse to beat myself up over it. I am up this morning, FINALLY feeling better from that dreadful cold, and am determined to get up and get moving and restarting my Tracy Anderson Continuity DVD's. Now that the congestion is finally just about almost 100% gone, I feel I can safely restart my program, so here we go! Looking forward to logging those burned calories!! :)

Leap of Faith - Inspirations

2011-07-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

Just a few things that have recently inspired me.......the list will continue....

1. My beautiful friend, Juliet, who said "bye-bye" to the corporate world and is following her true love and inspiration as a yoga instructor...you can take her yoga classes HERE.
2. All of the amazingly talented and young dancers on So You Think You Can Dance (one of my top fave shows - don't laugh!).....when I watch that show, I come to tears nearly every performance night. Their grace and talent astound me year after year...
3. All of my fellow Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis ladies....I have added quite a few of their blogs to my blog list to the right and they are just SO inspirational. We all come from different backgrounds/experience so to be doing this together and being able to help support each other through an online media helps tremendously!
4. Those who follow their dreams. I kick myself all the time for not following mine when I was young and had so many possibilities (no regrets though!) but also know that it's NEVER TOO LATE and when I hear about friends my age who make it possible, it makes me hopeful.
5. All of my beautiful and talented friends who are so caring and thoughtful. I love you.

Happy July 2011. Wish it was sunny here in Portland but alas, it's Portland and it's still raining. ARGH!! ;) xoxo

Day 50 - Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis - Results!

2011-07-12T16:31:00.000-07:00

Source: www.aplacetolovedogs.com

I completely forgot to post my Day 50 results! I am now going on Day 56 so am a little behind on posting but things are still going well!

Although by Day 50 I hadn't lost any more weight, I could definitely still feel a difference in the way my clothes were fitting and the way my body looked, which is good!

It turns out I lost another .25" from my hips (hooray! any little bit counts!!) and another 1/2" from each thigh!! Seriously!! :)

I am continuing to see the results and they are great. I bought a new pair of works pants a couple of weeks ago and they are already getting loose on me, what the heck?! I am enjoying this feeling and am keeping on. Level 6 of TAM (Tracy Anderson Method) is definitely kicking my butt but I'm sticking to it. Other than taking an unscheduled rest day the other day, I'm a keeping on.......only four more days of Level 6! I can do it and then I'll get to see what Level 7 has in store for me....YIKES!

Hope everyone is doing well....over and out for now! :)

Hello Level 6!

2011-07-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

Source: fitsugar.com

Well, hello Level 6 of Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis and thank you VERY much for properly kicking my butt from the get-go! Seriously, the warm-up and arms are great, even the arms with weights and the isolations are a breeze.....then we get to the abs where we have more parts moving around at the same time and holy heck, the leg lifts! WOW...

Consider myself schooled.

Tracy Anderson - you rock my world and I only hope that all of this hard work, sweat, and profanity, gives me a rock-hard butt and thighs! :)

Happy Thursday everyone! Hope you are all having a great week and all had a fabulous 4th of July!!

Day 3 of Level 6 is tomorrow.......going to go to bed early again to try and prepare myself. Wish me luck!

Crazy Bikram Yoga Rituals

2011-07-03T13:28:00.000-07:00

There are so many pros to working out at home, as I'm discovering. One of these, as my post's title suggests, is not having to do/deal with all of my crazy Bikram Yoga rituals that I think most Bikram yogis abide by. They are numerous (feel free to add to my list!) and will sound crazy.....if interested, keep reading:

Not eating anything at LEAST 2 hours prior to class
Not drinking any more water at least 1 hour prior to class
Never, not in a million years, use ANY kind of lotion as it will make you super slippery in class once you start sweating buckets
Having to find an ice source (to keep your water cold throughout class) if you're going to class from work (luckily we had an ice machine) otherwise I'd have to stop at Starbucks before class
Having to Sherpa around bags full of crap and clothes to change into OH and a change of shoes too because Lord knows you wouldn't want to leave class in your work shoes
Sourcing and carrying around grocery bags with you to take your nasty, sweaty clothes home in
Finding all kinds of crazy water additives to help sustain your (daily) practice
Getting to class at least 30 minutes before it started so you can snag "your spot"
Having a favorite water bottle for class and freaking out if you forgot it at home
??? I know I'm missing some.....this is all I can think of right now

I guess most of the "rituals" that I miss the least are the time-consuming ones....it's SO nice to wake up, throw on your workout clothes and shoes, walk downstairs, stretch, and do your workout and be done for the day. Speaking of which, I'm running behind today with my Tracy Anderson workout, so off to the downstairs I go! :)

This Does Not Make Me Happy

2011-06-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

For those of you that don't actually "know" me, I am very interested in astrology, horoscopes, palm reading, etc. Well, a few months ago, my acupuncturist and I were talking about all sorts of different things, one of them about retrogrades and astrology. She gave me the name of a lady, Joni Patry, to look up that made very spot-on predictions but follows Vedic Astrology (Eastern.)
So month to month I get notifications of her updated predictions and my personal astrological prediction for the upcoming month. Can I just say how NOT pleased I was to read July 2011's prediction for me? For the record, in Western Astrology, I am a Libra, but in Vedic, I am a Cancer, and you can figure this all out for free on her website using her calculator tools but you must know the time at which you were born. So, I look up Cancer for July 2011 and read the update below:

"Cancer July 2011
Friendships End

Your friends are unstable and can cause a scene. A friend will disappoint and leave your life. It is time to find friends that support you."

That's it. That's all. Nothing more, no elaboration. Wow. Ugh! All of my previous updates were positive and sometimes mysterious and kept me on a good page. This one just turns me off. I feel like I've been dealing with friend drama since I can remember. Girl friends used to get mad at me in middle school for inviting the new kids to join our group. I have had some truly amazing friendships that all of a sudden just fall apart and I'm not quite sure why. There have been more recent ones that have gone kaput but I *do* know why and they have made sense to me, one, which was resolved years later and now we are close again after talking about what happaned and another one which I truly, truly miss and I need to send her a message or something soon, but otherwise, I haven't had any regrets in the losing friends department.

I agree that we should all have friends in our life that are supportive and that don't disappoint us but it also depends on our expectations of that friend, doesn't it? I guess I naturally expect in return the friendship, time, and devotion that I put into a friend relationship and if I don't get that in return, I begin questioning it and why am I bending over backwards for someone that doesn't make time for me? I'm not saying this is right but I'm saying this is naturally what I trend towards.....

The whole set of predictions for July 2011 and on was kind of crazy anyhow so to read this on top of all of that just kind of freaked me out. I don't think I have any friends that will disappoint me but who knows? Yuck. I'm going to try and not think about it and let July 2011 be what it will and hope for the best! :)

Almost Halfway Through My Metamorphosis Journey!

2011-06-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

Metamorphosis
Source: yourdictionary.com

When you hear the word metamorphosis, the first thing a person usually thinks of is a butterly, or rather, a caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly.

This morning I completed Day 44 of my Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis program. After tomorrow morning's workout, I will be halfway through my original 90-day journey and then will move on to Continuity.

Time flies. I have enjoyed each and every day of my metamorphosis and am ever SO thankful to have found Tracy Anderson and the support of her online community. I've never felt better and I am on my way to turning into that butterfly. Not that I've ever thought I'm ugly or needed a transformation but it was just about time to find something that works for me and gives me the results I've been wanting for all of my hard work, effort, and time invested.

Level 5, you are hard, but I'm keeping up with you, Tracy! The abs are pretty dang difficult but they will only get me results. I am looking forward to a much deserved massage tonight and getting my butt kicked again in the morning! Amazing results, you are mine! Metamorphosis, you will be mine! :) Happy Tuesday, everyone!

When did I become so practical?!

2011-06-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

Today, after a very nice homemade/brought lunch with a good friend, we stopped in a store in my building that sells high-end apparel and accessories for women and men. Well, they have a HUGE sale going on and the shoe style to the left (in the color of the ones below) were 50% off!

Well, normally 50% off is a GREAT deal and I guess in the grand scheme of designer things, this IS a great deal. They just HAD to be in my size and yes, folks, they are those beautiful italian-made shoes with the pretty red bottoms.....Christian Louboutins.

I just couldn't do it. I started thinking of all of the things I could buy with that money so I grabbed a catalog, thanked the sales ladies, and made a b-line for my office. When I got back to work I just couldn't stop thinking of these shoes. They were gorgeous. They felt amazing on my feet. Why shouldn't I buy them?? I mean, don't my feet deserve them?! I can wear them with practically anything and yes, I deserve them! But my mind kept going back to the dollar signs. It was just TOO much. That's like 3 weeks worth of food for my Tracy Anderson Method food plan......

And then I thought to myself, damn......since when did I become so freaking practical??!!!

Maybe I will hold off until I complete my 90 day program. Maybe I will make these shoes (or another pair on sale if these are gone which they likely will be) my reward to myself for having completed 90 days of the Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis Method. That sounds like a good idea. I've always wanted a pair....and the ones I bought on eBay don't count! :)

Bye-Bye Level 4!

2011-06-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

A Kiwi-Tini
Source: Great Taste Magazine

Yesterday morning I completed Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis day/workout #40. Phew! Did I sweat buckets yesterday morning! I can't tell you how happy I am to have finished level 4. The free arms/warm-up, arms w/weights, abs, and isolations worked you but weren't HARD. Now, the leg lifts.......all 200 sets on EACH LEG (some having two movements per 1 set, ugh!!) were another story. Usually the first side would be "easy," but the minute I moved on to the second side (which I would alternate each morning), I would be DYING and struggling to make it through all of the reps but darn it, I would just pause that DVD and finish them out until I did ALL of them. BAM! Take that, Tracy Anderson! ;)

With day 40 comes new measurements and weigh-in. Again, I am happy to report that I am down a total of 20 pounds (2 more since my official 30-day weigh-in) and I lost another half-inch from my hips! :) These results have just been amazing and I start level 5 today. Since I have an EARLY morning and LONG meeting scheduled at work I have to start tonight after work but it's okay, I'll get it done. Also, had an AMAZING Portland Art Museum Young Patrons Society event last night that centered around "The Allure of the Automobile." We had a FABULOUS turnout thanks to my fellow organizing committee members and the Museum's partners at the Oregon Historical Society.....WOW. I could have done without the Kiwi-tini (although delicious), it had this green sugared rim that turned my tongue, and inside of my lips GREEN. LOL

Here's looking forward to level 5 of Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis Method tonight! SO excited and excited for my next measurement/weigh-in on Day 50!!! :)

Back in Balance

2011-06-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

Well, boy, am I glad that last week (AKA the crap week from HELL) is over. It seems that everything reset and most all was better by Saturday and that this week was to bring forth realizations and answers to my recent problems. Things are back in balance and as a Libra, I can appreciate that.

The work-problem situation has been resolved and the systems are now set up to help all of us do our jobs as it should have been in the first place.

Called first thing Monday morning right at 7am when they opened to the Literati help line. They actually tried to help me first by troubleshooting but when nothing worked she got my name and address to ship me a box/label to send the broken one in and they'll send a new one my way once received. I'm happy about that. Just bummed that my reading has been set back a bit.

Also on Monday, I posted a question to the Blogger's help page and got an answer pretty quickly and voila! My blog layout is fixed. Turns out there was something in the code from one of my posts last week that was messing everything up. Thank you to the person that helped me! Also, through that research, I found an amazing new link to Free Blogger Templates for your Blog. And that is what you are seeing now - VERY happy with the new template! :)

All seems right in the world (knock on wood) and looking forward to tomorrow, Day 40 on the Tracy Anderson Method Metamorphosis!! Another check-in with weight and measurements.......I can definitely feel the difference and it's always good to be reassured by actual numbers!

TJ Craxx

2011-06-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

This is what it looked like.
Source: fatchic.net

What better way to spend a Sunday than to make a "quick trip" to TJ Maxx to look for some easy to wear items that aren't going to cost an arm and a leg? Oh and to check out their label hand bags also because, I'm sorry, but I REFUSE to pay full price for all of that stuff. Everything just gets soo expensive. Why shouldn't we be allowed to get a good discount on the higher-end items??

Uhhhh, yeah. Two hours later and I am still in there shopping and looking around for crying out loud! I completely lost track of time but ended up with some very nice items (BCBG dress, The Limited top, fun black dress for going out, 2 pairs of Tahari heels, DKNY top, Evan Picone black dressy dress, Kate Spade wallet, Betsey Johnson wristlet, cute Nike/Adidas/Underarmour athletic socks, a trio of amazing hourglasses to decorate the house, and Kitchen Aid prep bowls/storage containers!) Awesome, right??! And all for GREAT prices. Now, if only I could get those two hours of my life back! Can't believe I did that! It's been a long time...

I guess you just gotta do that for yourself every once in a while. Here's to spending money and wasting time! :)

Will this week EVER end?!

2011-06-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

It's been one of those weeks. I can't do anything right, everything I do turns to you-know-what, and the days are just dragging! Luckily, or unluckily, all of this has been affecting my work-world...not sure what is going on but heard that there is a full moon and a lunar eclipse going on so maybe some of it has to do with that.

On the bright side (yes, there is always one) the sun is out, it's supposed to be in the mid-70's today and I am really looking forward to the weekend.

On another bright side, I am still doing really well with my TAM workouts and food program, I am down a total of 19 pounds since starting her Metamorphosis Method (23 pounds total since I started counting/paying attention earlier this year)! So, needless to say, that progress is making me VERY happy.

Almost done with our book club book. I am just a couple of short chapters away from finishing "The Island" by Victoria Hislop and it has been an AMAZING read. I'm only bummed I couldn't make it back in time from the coast to make it to our book club meeting...looking forward to our next read, "Three Junes" by Julia Glass. Sounds like a great book!

Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis on QVC!!

2011-06-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, you can now buy Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis Method on QVC!!! You all know how much I LOVE Tracy Anderson and I am just SO happy that there is another option to make her workouts available to everyone out there that needs a good kick in the butt. I am still loving her workouts and LOVE that she changes it up every 10 days; really makes a difference. As of today I am 35 days into her program and am still getting results.

I had to DVR her appearance on QVC because they aired one show at 2:00am and another at a time I was at work. It was fun to see her live on QVC and to hear and see how inspired she is by all of us little old regular and out of shape folks that are finding amazing results through her Method. People called in with their praise and testimonials and they even had live people on air to show their before and after results and they were just AMAZING! I am SOO impressed and inspired by the many that have begun their journey with Tracy. I'll make sure to keep you all up to date on my progress but right now, level 4 is kicking my butt big time! It's hard but I'm sticking with it because.....I can do it! :) Have a great day, all!

Tracy on QVC - Source: QVC.com

Why are people SO rude?!

2011-06-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

If I knew the answer to this one, well, I'd be a pretty rich lady...

Are they having a bad day and need someone to take it out on or do they just have poor manners? Do they feel the need to make another human being feel lesser than them and maybe feel joy as they talk down to them??

I don't know but whatever it is, I still don't think you're justified to treat someone disrespectfully, especially when they are a fellow associate! Why don't they take a DEEP breath in and a DEEP breath out, think about what they're about to do or say BEFORE they act?!

Ugh!!

Tolerance

2011-06-14T16:13:00.000-07:00

I wonder sometimes why things happen the way they do and yes, I am one of those annoying "everything happens for a reason" people. It's like every day is a test no matter who you are, how old you are, how smart you are, none of that matters.

Recently, I feel as though my tolerance has been tested almost daily and some things are just tiny, miniscule things but still, just feeling as though there will be a reason for all of this. It's getting better since I've become more aware of it but it's still annoying that these things are bothering me...glad it's making me think though and hoping it will only help me be smarter, stronger, quicker, more truthful, more aware, and happier.

One of my biggest awarenesses (and unfortunately, not a new one) is towards negative people. I just find it SO much work and such an unnecessary waste of energy to be negative, let alone, deal with a negative person. And it shows if you're merely pretending to be positive, it truly does. You can't fake optimism and if you try, well, in my eyes it's pretty obvious. What a difference when you are around someone who is positive from the inside out then when you are around someone who is constantly just finding the bad things to point out. Also, reading people's posts whether it's on facebook, twitter, online support communities, whatever the forum, when the poster is constantly just finding the negative and any reason to quit, I simply tune out. I used to be the cheerleader, the one pushing and affirming, but it just gets so old! I get SO tired of hand-holding and always trying to help the other person see the good in the bad; if they can't see it anymore then that's their problem and likely I'll stop listening. I just don't have time for that kind of crap anymore. I'm getting too old...

30 Day Results! Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis Hipcentric

2011-06-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well, today is the day......30 days that I've been on the TAM program (food plan and all) and here are my results:

I am down a total of 18 pounds!!!!

I have lost 2 inches total on bust, 3 inches from waist, 2.5 inches from hips, 3 inches off each thigh and 1 inch each arm!!! Pretty freaking amazing if you ask me. I'm loving it and looking forward to starting level four and the next 30 day journey on Saturday! :)

I am so thrilled and excited to share my results. The work has been hard but I'm getting stronger and I know I can keep it up!

Thank you, Tracy Anderson, for this wonderful program and for helping me begin my "metamorphosis!" I'm excited to see where this 90-day total journey will take me, however, I am also excited that I have found something for life.

I love TAM!!! :o)

Excited

2011-06-08T14:20:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be 30 days on the Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis Method and I am very excited to weigh-in (crazy, I know) and take measurements to see my results so far. 60 more days to go and wonder where I will be by then?!

I feel great and am loving each and every workout.....so looking forward to making TAM a part of my life!

Tracy Anderson Method - Metamorphosis!!

2011-05-24T15:23:00.000-07:00

So......okay, it's been a few months since writing. Work has been crazy, life has been crazy, 2011 has been quite the busy year so far but it's all good.

Like clockwork (so weird), right around April things were just getting too busy and I haven't been able to make yoga as often as before, which is fine, and I totally accept. I mean, I'd love to go, but when you have to get work done, you have to get work done and I have to accept that gone are the days of when I can leave whenever I want and make up the hours later.....at least for now.....

SO - comes into the picture, Tracy Anderson Method - Metamorphosis - Hipcentric. I had read about Tracy Anderson before on Gwyneth Paltrow's blog/newsletter GOOP, and had already watched ALL of the infomercials online from her website and pretty much became obsessed with this new "method."

So, naturally, I bit the bullet and ordered the set of DVD's. I have not been happy with my weight lately and would probably keep getting worse, but I refuse to go above my highest weight, which I won't say online, but a girl's got limits! Enough was enough and Lord knows I hate the gym and now that we live further out, I haven't done any outdoor workouts, besides, it rains so freaking much here, what's the point?

Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis (TAM - also the abbreviation for Tracy Anderson Method - check out her 30-day method book, which I found out after the fact, that you should start with her book and "graduate" to Metamorphosis) Hipcentric (the beauty is it is personalized to your body type), was delivered to me on Friday, May 6th. Exercise program started first thing Saturday morning, May 7th. Dynamic Food Plan started Monday, May 9th. Today is Tuesday, May 24th and so far, 12 pounds lost, and about 5.5" total lost from bust, waist, hips, thigh, and arm.

Need I say more??! It works and it's going to keep on working as the workouts change every 10 days and she follows aesthetics that I follow such as less weight, more reps. Read up about her and if you're thinking about doing it - just do it! :)

2011 - So far, so good

2011-02-09T10:30:00.000-08:00

Well, eventhough 2010 had a blip towards the end, and a tough decision had to be made (bye-bye drama!), we were able to ring in the New Year at an amazing 5-year anniversary party of some very dear friends.

2011 has started off on some very positive notes in my world and I feel very grateful. 27 Bikram Yoga classes in January, so far for February going on classes 6 and 7 tonight, including the advanced series which I am incredibly happy I have been able to start and incorporate into my practice this new year. It's funny how things happen but I have always believed that "things happen for a reason." People, learning, timing....it's all there and it all comes to us when we need it and them most.

Our housewarming party this past weekend went VERY well, and that makes me happy also! So many amazing and fun people from past and present were in attendance and just made the entire night a blast! I haven't had that much fun in a while...it was great. And it couldn't have happened without all of those amazing people that have been in my life and that made the effort to attend.

Well, it's Wednesday, hump day, and it feels like it...looking forward to yoga tonight! Is it 5 yet? ;)

Dwelling, dreaming, and concentrating…

2010-03-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

(I had the opportunity to guest blog for the official Bikram 101 blog site today and this was it! You can find the main blog site at bikram101.blogspot.com)

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” --- Buddha

The individual journey that we all experience together in the Bikram Yoga room are each very unique, changing, and challenging and follow us outside the yoga studio, whether we like it or not. When we are in the hot room, we are to use our body over mind; to listen only to the teacher’s words and to allow our bodies to do as they say. It must be a tremendous thing as a Bikram Yoga teacher to watch so many people all in the same room all going through very different things at the same time and to have such influence on those experiences, encouraging patience, progress, and change.

The quote that I am sharing today is one we should all try and remember each and every time we set foot into the yoga studio (and every other place, for that matter.) When we are struggling through balancing postures, do not dwell in the past and give that second set all you’ve got. When we are feeling overheated and lightheaded, do not dream of the future posture coming up (in my case Camel!) We must remember to concentrate our minds on the present moment of where we are in each and every posture, whether we are able to fully balance in standing forehead to knee or not; in each and every way with our co-workers or family members, we must remember our breath and our yoga. Whether our forehead is touching the floor in separate leg stretching (or not), or whether we can or cannot “lock the knee” or are still working on that solid lamppost base, we must remain in the present.

What we must remember and be mindful of is that each and every day, whether it is a “good” or “bad” day, we are on this spectacular journey through our bodies and minds and are learning so much from our instructors, each other, and ourselves through each and every breath we take. This is our journey and we are so incredibly lucky to have found this path and to be able to experience its wonders together. Happy Bikram 101 yoga-ing!

Heidi, a Community Banker by day, lives in Portland, OR and practices at the SE Moreland Bikram Yoga studio. This is her fourth year at this studio and had practiced several years prior to finding her “yoga home.” This is Heidi’s first challenge and she hopes to one day attend teacher training and open her own Bikram Yoga studio to continue sharing her passion for this wonderful practice. She is inspired daily by all those that practice alongside her and loves discussing love, food, and life!

Awesome Quote

2010-03-18T05:37:00.000-07:00

"The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth." -Chinese Proverb.

So true. Just had to share.

Friendship Divorce

2010-02-25T10:56:00.000-08:00

You know, it never ceases to amaze me how when I am going through something in particular that different sources of wisdom seem to come my way to help guide me through my particular dilemma.

A couple of weeks ago it was an article in a banking newsletter about communication. This time, it’s via Gwyneth Paltrow’s offering called GOOP and it’s about, yup, you guessed it, Friendship Divorce.

World, you are amazing and thank you for such wonderful and sage advice! I thought I would share with everyone and hopefully you will be helped by this article as I was. I just finished reading it and it made me feel SO much better and helped me realize what steps I need to take and gave me some good, new perspectives surrounding friendship and what that means to others and to me. Enjoy!

http://goop.com/newsletter/71/en/

Class #34 - Worst Class Ever! (Or Best?)

2010-02-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

A few of my Bikram teachers have emphasized how this yoga is so wonderful in so many ways and that is why we love it. I agree. They talk about how you can come into the room one day, or for many days in a row, and just rock it and have a great practice and the next day just have the worst practice of your life. I agree. This yoga is a very humbling yoga which I really appreciate and boy did I appreciate it for class #34.

I don't know if it was because I did a double on Saturday or what the deal was but Erica's Sunday morning class was the worst class I have had in quite some time. Like full body cramp, every tiny muscle in my body was just aching and I was sweating big-time buckets. It was crazy, I barely made it through class and I most definitely got hit by the Bikram yoga truck. I needed that. I needed to work through all of that and I am glad I made it through. I'm going back tonight for more but have fueled up on electrolytes, coconut water, and lots of water, so no more yoga truck for me I hope!!

Class #12, 8th in a row...

2010-01-15T11:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, motivationally, was the hardest so far. I did not want to go to class. I was tired, it has been a long week, and all I wanted to do was go home and go to sleep and cuddle with my kitty cat, Ahab.

Well, I made it to class. I was parking and saw that one of my yoga buddies was parking too. I started feeling better and more optimistic. Then another yoga buddy walked up while we were waiting to go inside. Oh, thank you God for sending these people to class with me to help me make it through. I was still feeling tired but had higher hopes for a good class as I knew I would have good energy around me. Another mental obstacle I was facing was that a new-to-me teacher was teaching this particular class. I have never taken the Thursday night 7:00pm class before and although I always look forward to new styles and guidance I was worried about a new teacher on a night when I was already struggling.

So, it turns out I had one of my best classes ever. Go figure, right? Having my two yoga buddies next to and behind me REALLY helped but half the battle is just making it to class and I made it and made it through. Looking forward to class tonight and then to bed most likely! Happy Yoga everyone!

Day 9 for me...

2010-01-12T12:16:00.000-08:00

I still need to do 2 days of doubles to catch back up with the rest of the Bikram 101 group since I found out about this challenge a little late but I am on day 9 total, tonight will be my 6th day in a row. I'm feeling a bit tired but still fine. Sunday, January 10th was by far my hardest day so far as the day prior was my book club's meeting and we all know that means wine! :)

Still feeling extremely motivated and wonderfully hydrated and healthy! I am loving this so far and can't wait to do a double this weekend and get closer to being caught up! Go Bikram Yoga-ites!!

Bikram 101

2010-01-06T12:15:00.000-08:00

So, I had heard something the other day about a 101 day Bikram Challenge and after a bit of investigating, found out that it started January 1, 2010 (which I am choosing to pronounce two thousand ten, if anyone cares). I have only missed one day (Saturday, January 2nd) so I could technically join this challenge but wow, what do I do about all of the after work commitments I have already made and how.....well, why don't I just stop asking how and just start doing? That might be the best solution. I'm feeling really motivated right now to do this especially since I am already 4/5 classes into it and think it would be an amazing and eye-opening experience amongst so many other things.

It is a new year and I am feeling very hopeful and positive, so there. :o) I am going to post the "Bikram 101" badge on here with the intention of doing the challenge but if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen and I promise to myself not to be disappointed. Life happens and I wasn't truly prepared to do anything like this so we will just have to wait and see. I feel so inspired though from reading all of the posts from others that have been talking about and preparing for this challenge since mid-November 2009. Cheers to those that are doing it and here goes everything I've got! Happy New Year everyone!!

To.

2009-04-09T02:03:00.000-07:00

2009.

What a year so far. There have been a few ups, and many more downs.

The key is to remember.

Remember that everything happens for a reason. Whether what happens opens your eyes to the rut you were living in. Or maybe you realize that now is your chance; your chance to do the things that you have never had time (or never made time) to do.

To sleep in. To travel. To write like you have never written before. To clean out that closet or space you have neglected for so long. To really be able to enjoy a meal instead of scarfing it down while you are doing three things at once. To read. To really read.

To pay attention to all that has been going on around you for the last fifteen years. All that you have enjoyed or could have enjoyed; look at it how you will.

But make sure you are looking.

And see.

Being Thankful

2009-01-29T21:21:00.000-08:00

There are so many experiences in life that help to bring things into perspective. I was recently reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini for my book club. Now, I know that this is just a book. I know that. But regardless, this story is most likely based on many true stories. True stories of such wickedness, such hate and filth, and hatred towards women and their perception and nothingness. It truly sickened me. What it also did was help me realize how truly lucky I am.

I am so fortunate; I have my voice, my freedom to say and choose how I will, to wear what I want and how I want and when I want. To dance when I want to dance. To sing when I want to sing. To wake up when I want to wake up and do with my day however I choose and please is right for me. I live in a country that does not impose, for the most part. I live in a country that doesn't tell me that I must believe in a certain thing or in a certain way and how many times per day I must show that I believe.

There are definitely things in this country that I find wrong or confusing or just wrong. But what I have to remember and what I believe everyone should remember is that we have a good life. No matter how hard we have it, someone else is going through much worse than us. The things that I read about which I know happen in real life are NOTHING compared to what I have been through.

I am so glad to have lived such a fulfilling and positive life. I am glad to no longer have people in my life who are negative and choose to waste their time and energy on being and feeling in ways that are not productive. I am glad that I have chosen the positive and realistic path. I am so glad for who I am and who I have been.

By the way, I HIGHLY recommend reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns." It is a horrifying yet beautifully written story about another country, another world, and the women and men that suffer and make others suffer in that other country and world.

Time is such a precious thing...

2009-01-17T06:33:00.000-08:00

There have been many anniversaries of sorts that have passed and some new ones to look forward to. December 29th marked the 8 year anniversary of my Dad's passing. January 4th would have been his 72nd birthday. January 5th marked my one year anniversary at my Bikram yoga studio. Without an exact date, Robert and I will have been together for three years this year. In early May it will have been two years since my friend Jeff Neill passed away. June 22nd will be one year that I have been a vegetarian......and they go on and on...........

I try to think mostly of the good things, the positives, but it is hard to forget the bad and the sad. I believe that it is the tough times that make us who we are and help us develop and mature. I would hope that everyone would be able to learn from experiences past and find something that helped make them a better person. I guess that is just life and how things are.

It is nice to reflect and in light of recent events and happenings at work this is probably the right time to do so. What ever has happened in the past has helped shape me and what is happening now will do the same. What ever will be and will happen in the future will just be and there is nothing I can do at this point. Just pray and hope for the best for all involved.

At least I have Spain to look forward to at the end of August!

No regrets.

2008-12-24T17:56:00.000-08:00

I have finally gotten my big butt back to the yoga studio...finally.

It feels good and it had to be on my own time. When I went back to school I was freaked out. It has been over ten years since I last took a class. Who could expect my life to be exactly the same as it was?

It took me exactly three months to figure it out and I feel fine. I feel good.

I know what it is and I know what I want. I know where I want to be and I know who I want it to be with. I am done with the past and I am on to the future.

I have no regrets.

To add or not to add?

2008-12-11T19:54:00.000-08:00

It is so strange sometimes being online and being so visible and out there to so many people. Sure you can figure out how to block yourself or "hide" online but just about everything you do leaves a footprint and this is such a strange concept sometimes.

In the last month I have gotten some very strange friend requests on either facebook or myspace that really made me think and wonder. One was from someone from my past, someone I would rather forget, and it really made me wonder, why? Why would this person want to bring this all back, see what I am doing now when this person HAS to know that they hurt me so terribly (and probably vice versa) so many years ago? What makes you click on that "add as friend" button and why? I often wonder that myself of the friend requests that I have made and I always think twice especially when it comes to people of my past. I am sure I am not the only one who goes through this - it can be a very strange situation I think.

The other friend request was from someone that I would never have thought would think I was ever their friend. (Did that make sense?) ;o) When you know people from and through work and only work, how do you know what that personal relationship would be like? I guess that also brings up a good point to me as well; why do I think that we wouldn't be friends outside of work? It is a bit more complicated then that in this particular case. The way we interacted, the impression they made on me and the way that they left. Now that we no longer have work as that tie I really don't see anything more; so should I approve that friend request?

Hell no! LOL. But seriously, being online and so visible sometimes freaks me out. Who knows who is out there spying and lurking...?

What I do love is how many awesome people I have gotten back in touch with and how good that has made me feel. There have been some pretty amazing people that I have known in the last 32 years of my life and I feel so lucky to have been given the chance to find them once again and reconnect. Technology has definitely been a positive in most of our lives but at times I think there has to be a limit. There has to be a point when we must assess how much we are connected and that really, we have to "unplug" every once in a while.

Thank you facebook and myspace for getting me back in touch with those that I love and admire and for keeping me in touch with my amazing friends! I look forward to many more friends and requests and keeping that connection alive!

Books, revisited.

2008-12-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

Oh, how I have neglected my little blogspot. It's been quite the whirlwind of work, school, book clubs, working out, socializing, boyfriend time, cat time, etc., etc., etc.! So now I have a bit of catching up to do.

Ahem.

Things have been going well lately. I am still trying to get into a proper school groove, if there is such a thing, but have managed to so far successfully balance all of the things mentioned above. The one thing that I have unfortunately cut back on is my regular attendance at my Bikram yoga studio (I hope Douglas will forgive me.) At first I wasn't sure who was more upset about it - me or my faithful yoga buddy. ;o) BUT, also, at first I was SO overwhelmed I was happy to get some time back in my day so I could read my weekly ninety page assignments!

I did manage to work in a personal trainer and doing cardio at the gym downstairs in my work building so that I could get in and get out and go home and study! The one thing I must say is that I have managed to stay VERY sane throughout all of this. Sure there has been that moment or two where I just want to THROW Robert and Ahab out the front window but that's natural, right? ;o) I don't know where all of this balance has come from; maybe it's that steady yoga practice that I kept up that got me here or maybe it's just one of those things that happens every 7 years? Well, what ever it is, it has been very helpful throughout all of my changes.

School has been good but it makes me wonder sometimes why do we even bother having in-person classes? Yeah I understand that the interaction with other classmates face to face does have some merit but being able to do an accelerated program and doing your study work at your own pace just makes so much more sense! Less time wasted, less gas used, etc! Man, I should have figured this out a long time ago.

Okay, well, enough for now. No more babbling. Maybe one of these days I will make it back to yoga but for right now it is read, read, read, study, study, study, and write, write, write. Back to the books!!

Heidi minus the Meat Anniversary!

2008-10-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

Today marks the four month anniversary of my being a vegetarian, I mean, a pescetarian (veggie who still eats fish). It has been an interesting adjustment but I have to say that I have never felt better in my life. It's funny too because at first I didn't have any cravings at all for meat but interestingly enough in the last month I would say, I have thought that a nice steak sounds good or a big hunk of chicken breast meat, BUT, I am not going to do it.

It has probably been more interesting trying to find alternatives and ensuring I am still getting the proper nutrition. I would say that I eat a LOT better now than I did when I was a meat eater. When you eat meat there are so many probabilities for getting lower quality/grade food and meat. Who knows where that chicken came from or what kinds of qualifiers the vendor has in picking out their meat. There are some places that know there are a lot of conscious meat eaters out there and buy organic or free-range and I think that is great but this not eating meat thing is really working out for me.

Just a quick post about my feelings on that. Now - back to school work!!

It's been a long time...

2008-09-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, huh? Geez, between work, school, boyfriend, friends, yoga, STILL unpacking and trying to get errands and chores done, it's been a tough last couple of weeks. It has definitely been interesting getting back into the school groove while working and trying to maintain everything else and let's face it - some things just have to go.

The spontaneous happy hours after work. Staying up and out late. I have to keep things on schedule again and it's hard getting back to that. I took advantage of the fact that I was pretty much free to do what ever I wanted to whenever I wanted. I am sure it is hard for some of you out there as well. All I can say is that it is for a very good reason!

I am really excited for this weekend though and I've been working really hard this week so I can play this weekend. It is the "So You Think You Can Dance" concert at the Rose Garden on Sunday night. A few friends are coming into town to go with me like we did last year - really great, wonderful friends too! I am SO excited. Can't wait to see the show. It is going to be a blast.

No meet and greet this year which is a bummer! Oh well - at least I met Danny last year! He was the dreamiest!!! :o)

To Be...

2008-09-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes and some days I just wish I could completely unplug and just be. I don't know why or what it is but some days I just want to be in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to see anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. I don't want to touch or smell anybody. I just want to be me. No outside influences. Nobody telling me what to do or how to feel.

Just stillness.

Breath.

Me.

Does anyone else feel that way? Is it the want to be free of responsibilities? Free of commitments? Free?

Yowza!

2008-08-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, so has it REALLY been that long since I have taken a college course?

Yeah - I guess it has. And here is why:

Most of you know that I am starting back up to finish my degree that I started way back in 1994. So, I am going to finish it online through Ashford University because they offer a great program called "Organizational Management" with a concentration in English. No, it's not the English Lit degree I was striving for back in the day but it will definitely help me out in my current career path and then some! AND it incorporates English!

So, my first class opened up early yesterday so I immediately got online and checked out what all we had to do. Today is officially the first day and I already have 3 due dates for assignments for WEEK ONE. Granted, these courses only run 5 weeks so I know they have to get a lot done during that time frame. This is a good thing because I need my butt whipped into shape in more way than one! It's just crazy because these chapters aren't short by any means and the print is SO small! Okay, now I'm just whining......

So, there it is. I probably won't have much of a social life now which is fine because that will save me lots of calories AND cash! :o) You know - so many people were telling me that online courses would be too easy and that I should opt to finish my degree by being in class in the seat but I have to say this is already much more of a challenge than I thought it would be which is great!!

Oh, for those who are interested this first course is PSY202 - Adult Development and Life Assessment which I guess is a standard intro course and I welcome that!

Here's to going back to school and finishing that almighty degree! Wish me luck!!

A reprieve...

2008-08-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

Well, the movers got me into Robert's place, I mean OUR new place, about an hour ago. The hardest part is done. All the packing, sifting through things - it seems to get easier and easier as the days count down but of course the weekend I decide to move is one of the hottest weeks ever! I could hardly get anything done it was insane how hot this apartment got! Now, I'm looking at all of the empty space and remembering how it was about two years ago that I came upon this duplex and all of the wild times since.

I still have quite a bit to do but luckily the family that owns this place is flexible and it's not like I HAVE to be out by midnight tonight. I will have all of my belongings out though and poor little Ahab who is just looking around at all the empty space and probably wondering, "Mom, why did you let those two men take all of our things?" :) I am exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally, everythingally.

Exhausted doesn't BEGIN to explain how I feel right now. It will definitely be an interesting journey where this move takes me. It already has been. Getting rid of things left and right - paring down to what I really think I NEED and having complete strangers come into my home to check out my vintage danish-mod sofa or my cheap-o 26" TV from 4 years ago with the stand that I inherited from Katherine.

Well, wish me luck everyone. I can't say that I think I will NEED it - I'm very good at teamwork and making things work and the amount of patience that I have, well.....let's just say that some might (at times) call me a saint. :)

Goodbye SE 14th and Oak St, 97214! I will miss you dearly - all of the GOOD times and all of the NOT so good encounters, which there weren't many of luckily.

Hello SE 49th Ave!!!

P.S. Oh, and I forgot to mention - this morning as I was preparing some of my last boxes the most INSANE THUNDER erupted from out of nowhere. Heavy, heavy showers followed. It sounded like it was right up the street and then of course, my power went out. I came into this neighborhood dealing with power outages left and right (thanks to the transformer on the next street up) so I might as well leave Buckman with a good old power outage! What a mess!

Wow - Food is Good...

2008-08-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

So, of course, making a change from being a meat eater to being a non-meat eater is a pretty big change, especially after 30 years of eating meat. I mean, who knows how it is going to affect your body, your way of thinking, your actions and reactions, your functions. Who knows until you do it?

So, tonight I thought I was going to be in trouble food-wise. A group of really great friends and I went to Toro Bravo for a close friend's birthday. It's a tapas-style place. I love tapas. But I've only had tapas as a meat eater. Never as a vegetarian. As soon as I glanced at the menu I thought I was doomed - everything I've ever had tapas style has been bacon-wrapped this or meatball that. Let me just say that not only was I pleasantly surprised but I am now home and I am SO stuffed I think I need to do TWO yoga sessions tomorrow morning to work all of this food off!

It was amazing. It invoked thoughts of things from WAY back that I hadn't thought about in a (obviously) very long time. The food was spectacular, the wine was intoxicating, the company was wonderful - I couldn't have asked for a better Friday night. The end to a VERY long week! Thank you T, R, B, R, S - you are all wonderful people and I had such a great time.

Thank you!!!

LOL Cats - gotta love 'em!

2008-08-07T06:54:00.000-07:00

Just a couple of photos that made me laugh this morning that I thought I would share. I love LOLCats!!!!! And is this week over yet?? It's been a LONG, stressful one and I'm ready for the weekend!

My First Indian Wedding!

2008-07-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

What an amazing weekend, wedding - WOW!

So, a good friend of mine, Suja, was set to be married July 26, 2008 in Seattle, Washington. I got her invitation about 2 months ago and was just so excited for her as it seems she is extremely happy and when my friends are happy, so am I. I immediately started planning - contacted my friend, Katherine, who I knew would also be invited to see if she would be there as well and of course she would! She invited me to stay with her which I immediately accepted and started planning on meeting many wonderful people and having a great time. The only downside to this I was to find out was that Robert's mother and sister were to be in town this particular weekend as a part of their trip/stay out here to Portland and that I would miss that weekend's activities with his family.

So, after trying to catch up on sleep I am remembering things that happened and just how much fun I had. I arrived Friday afternoon, made my way over to the Hotel where Katherine booked a room - The W. A beautiful suite to stay in, a beautiful view and on top of it all beautiful weather! We hung out for a bit and then decided on where to go for dinner - Campagne. My boss was nice enough to give me a gift certificate that was given to him to this French-American restaurant which made our decision a bit easier. We enjoyed a lovely dinner, a couple of drinks with dinner and shared a delicious dessert and made our way back to the Hotel, all within walking distance which made it even better! We hung out at the W's fun and hip bar. Made friends with John the bartender and enjoyed the people watching which there was plenty of.

The next morning we woke up early, trekked up to "The Sweatbox" where we worked off our butter-laden dinner from the night previous - ahh yes, and those four glasses of wine! Let's not forget those! We walked back to our hotel - a 2 mile round trip walk - grabbed some coffee and a pastry at the wonderful little French bakery across the street, Belle Epicurean, and back to the room! A shower and all that good stuff and off we were to Pike Place Market! We checked out the vendors and then grabbed some Mediterranean food for lunch at Sabra and then made our way up the street to check out the Nordstrom flagship store. As we walked up the street I started hearing "Light My Fire" coming from a car down the hill with it's windows down. I mean, it was blaring! As the car made its way up the hill we saw it - a pimped out black with gold accents Trans Am! I had to snap a photo!! As the car went by I looked in and it was a 50+ year old Asian man! LOL - too funny! There was a group in front of us that cheered him on as he peeled away from the stoplight and made HIS way up the hill. Here is the photo I was able to get of him.

On our way we stopped in Lush, got a wonderful hand scrub treatment, bought a couple of items and again, on our way we went! A quick stop in Nordstrom to check out the shoes, etc. and finally, back to our room to get ready for the wedding!

And now, the wedding. I don't know if it was the people, the setting, the religion, the tradition - I simply knew that this was going to be a GREAT wedding and a wonderful time. Maybe it was my attitude, my positivity, my happiness for this couple. The ceremony was to be a traditional Indian ceremony that later we found out was to be only 45 minutes long. It was definitely longer than 45 minutes and the only reason I knew was because I started getting hungry - it was fun though taking photos and being walked through what was going on - the Officiant was really good about that. And when Suja came out - wow. She looked SO beautiful in her super-ornate red Sari.

After the ceremony I recall the groom's father opening up these double doors and announcing that "the bar is open!" Hooray! I could tell that these people knew how to have a good time and was very much looking forward to the food as it was of course going to be a Vegetarian's feast! And it was!!! Katherine and I met a few people, chatted first with the DJ, DJ Aanshul, who approached us probably because we looked like we didn't really know anyone. Then we introduced ourselves to Suja's brother, Arun, and talked to him for a little bit as we grabbed our second drink. Nice guy. Chatty. Handsome. Charming. Then it was food time - we loaded up and while in line we met another nice gentleman, Hari. He was a very nice man and I think was particularly interested in Katherine. :o) He was a cousin of the family but decided to find a seat with us and enjoy his dinner with us which was nice. Then some delicious cake which Katherine and I shared as we were both stuffed and then, the dancing begins!!!!

Wow - I would say it was almost 3 hours STRAIGHT of dancing to current selections but my favorite - Bollywood! It was great and we made some more new friends on the dance floor. A particularly beautiful young lady, who the next day we found out her name - Sapna. She was fun! Such a great outlook and attitude!! Throughout the evening we had several fun dance partners and each other. Katherine and I were just enjoying and although we were both wearing probably 3-4 inch heels it didn't matter! Everyone was on the dance floor - that was the beauty. I really enjoyed dancing with Vikram's (groom) Dad, Dr. Rao, Suja's brother, Arun, and of course, Katherine. There was another guy whose name we didn't know yet that kept dancing with us and he just had the greatest smile - everyone was SO nice. We were introduced the next day and his name is Barack - no, not Obama, he says!

Anyhow, as the evening was ending I figured out what it was that I loved so much and I remember telling Katherine this: These families, these people, were so passionate. You could feel the passion in the air and when I say passion I don't mean, Days of our Lives passion. I'm talking these people LOVE and you can feel it. They love having a good time, they love each other, they love themselves. It permeated - it was intoxicating. I didn't want the evening to end.

A few more dances and about midnight the evening ended there - time to cool off and head "home." I changed out of my almost completely sopping wet dress and into some jeans and a cute top and again, we found ourselves downstairs with John, our faithful bartender with a good memory. We couldn't get over how wonderful the whole evening was and what a great weekend it had turned out to be. Which I knew it would but wow - it was more than I had imagined!

I really didn't want to leave. I was having such a good time but how great would it be to recount my stories when I got back home?! We attended the day after brunch at the bride and groom's home and had time to catch up with our friend, Suja, and to meet and chat with the nice people we had danced with the night previous. I think I'm still catching up on sleep - it was that good of a time.

A time and a weekend I will never forget. Thank you Suja and all of your family and friends for such a memorable and wonderful weekend. Thank you Seattle for again showing me that you are a beautifully unique city. Thank you Katherine for being such a great friend and for always being so positive and fun. Thank you.

Feelings...

2008-07-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

I just have to say that I have been pretty emotional lately. It feels to me that I can FEEL everything and that everyone is an open book to me. Like you don't even have to communicate with me and I just KNOW what is going on......

Why do I have to feel this?

It hurts me a lot and is sometimes hard to feel what I am feeling.....but I know that what you are going through is a lot more than what I feel.

It just makes me really, really sad. Just to know.

My thoughts and my heart are with YOU. Please know that - you know that I care for you and love you very, very much and that my friendship with you means SO much to me.

I may not be able to help and/or fix what is going with you at the moment but please know that I am here for you and that my love for you runs SO deep. I would do anything for you.

Reach out. I am here...

Sometimes it's good to suck (get your mind out of the gutter!!)

2008-07-14T21:31:00.000-07:00

It is really amazing how your body is different each and every day. How what you eat and drink one day can affect you the next. This has become more and more evident to me because of my Bikram yoga practice. Especially since I'm in a room heated to about 105 degrees or so! Oh, the things you feel! :o)

I'm amazed how one day I can't seem to focus on anything other than how hot it is in the room, how I MUST wipe the sweat from my hands from my arms, how hot my stomach feels - and other days, like this morning, my practice feels effortless; like a dream. As if I'm floating from one pose to the next and yes, with effort, but not to the degree of I feel like I am going to die. I really enjoy how humbling practicing yoga is - especially Bikram yoga. Amazingly, it is a great feeling when you suck in class because it grounds you; makes you aware of you and your body, your mind.

If you have never tried Bikram yoga I challenge you to give it a shot! My boyfriend was a good sport and signed up for the introductory package (which at most studios is around $30 for one full month of unlimited yoga) and he went almost every time I did. He stuck it out and agrees that it is very challenging but that it wasn't for him. See how amazing you feel after 30 days. During my intro package I went 19 out of the 30 days and felt AMAZING! I still go around 4-5 times a week and really notice a difference in my awareness and am thankful for each and every time I make it to class and for the motivation of having a "yoga buddy" to push me to go when I would rather sleep in! Thank you yoga buddy (you know who you are!!)

So I Think I Can Dance!

2008-07-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

I think one of the reasons I love watching "So You Think You Can Dance" every year is because I wonder what my life would be like now if I had pursued dancing professionally. Not in the way that I hate my life now or anything but in the way that you wonder about a different possibility. You wonder where you would be living instead of where you are now and who your friends would be. What your family would be like now. If you really would have made it or if you would have struggled like so many do in the world of dance amongst so many other art forms.

Everyone makes the decisions that they do and for a good reason. My reason for not following dance professionally was partly because I never really had the "dancer's body" but definitely it was because I knew it wouldn't pay the bills. But would I have been happier? Would I have felt more satisfied knowing that I had truly tried and followed what my heart really told me to?

It's something I think about quite often. Even though I was only 125 pounds and 5'8" I never had the body of a ballet dancer which is what I truly fell in love with (ballet). I started too late in life, according to the ballet purists. I know I had/have talent but could it have been enough? If it wouldn't have been enough why didn't I look into choreography? I've always loved it and loved creating little shows and putting together dance routines for our annual concerts......but that was a long time ago. (Photo above was taken at a performance at Palomar College - a ballet piece set to Bach - I'm on the left)

This is exactly why I adore and admire the dancers that are on the show. They are truly doing what their heart is telling them they were meant to do and they are great at it! They have SUCH passion! When I watch them perform I sometimes DO wish that I could go back in time and see how I would have turned out if I had followed that dream. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be in Portland right now if I had, that's for sure, and I don't know if I would be willing to trade that for anything.

Dancing, choreography, dancers, music - it all speaks to me. It moves me and I just love being a part of it and if the show keeps that fire alive in me, then great. Last year I was lucky enough to have gotten tickets to their tour when they came here to Portland and scored some backstage passes - I met almost ALL of the top dancers and to meet them and talk to them even if for just a few minutes made me appreciate all that I have and all that I have learned over the last 10 years of living on my own. I am thankful for all of the wonderful people that I have met throughout the years and know that I would never trade that for anything.

Still, it is fun to dream!

For all you LUSHes out there!!

2008-06-28T11:07:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to write about a new addiction of mine. Some of you who talk to me frequently may already know what it is. I don't know what took me so long to try and fall in love with this store and their fresh-made products - maybe it's because their only store in Portland is on NW 23rd and being that I don't live over in that neighborhood anymore, I dread the thought of making my way over there due to the bad traffic and parking is a bitch!

LUSH makes all of their products by hand and from fresh, sometimes 100% Vegan ingredients. A girl that I work with had told me about them and how much she fell in love with their products so finally one lunch afternoon a few of us headed up there with her to check it out. She let me try some of her "Love Lettuce" face mask to see if I liked it. These Fresh Masks are made fresh weekly with all sorts of interesting ingredients that are supposed to cleanse, renew, and refresh. These masks in particular have expiration dates and must be kept refrigerated as a lot of them have actual food items in them - avocado, almonds, and spices amongst other things. Let me just say that I am now addicted (thanks Babs) and my skin has never looked better!

What intrigues me about LUSH is their unique approach to skin care, skin maintenance and even how they try new things with their bath products. I mean, whoever heard of a solid shampoo?!?! Now, I had tried their soap products a few years ago thanks to an ex that brought them back to me from a trip to Vancouver, BC and he thought it would be a unique gift idea until I told him that we had a store right up on 23rd (and this is when I lived in NW). It could also have taken me so long because there was a girl I know that used to manage that store who I know didn't like me so much (different ex's ex) and that could have deterred me from entering their very fragrant front doors (immature, I know, but those were very different and dramatic times). Well, what ever it WAS maybe I just wasn't ready for them until NOW.

What's so great about it too is that it has me really excited about skin care when of course who thinks that washing their face and applying moisturizer could be exciting?? It's not. It's one of those things that most people think, "Okay, it's time to go to bed - gotta go wash my face. Ugh." But when you get such GREAT results from very reasonable priced products that are made with care and are also Cruelty Free and NOT tested on animals, well, I'm totally sold!

What I love best about "finding" something new like this is being able to share with friends and family. It's also great because there are all sorts of gift ideas I've got running through my head and lots of birthdays coming up. You Lucky Leos!! :o)

So I recommend that if you are lucky enough to have a Lush store near you to go ahead, walk in, ignore the somewhat overpowering scent of all the bath products and walk on over to one of their Uber-friendly associates and ask them what face wash they recommend for your skin type. The world is such a serious place that we should be able to escape every once in a while (or every night) when you are slathering up that face mask ready to apply and think, man, my skin is going to look great when I'm done with this!

By the way, I just bought and tried a new mask, Brazened Honey. Wow - it has all sorts of spices in it and it is supposed to spice up your skin, make you sweat and bring out any impurities. I was in yoga class this morning and I could still smell it - it smelled like I had eaten a bunch of curry last night! It's fun! And that is what skin care should be!

Meeting My Meat

2008-06-22T22:32:00.000-07:00

I am once again disgusted with people. I was checking out The Masala Dose's blog that had a link to an article about the brutality of meat production. Now, it's been years since I have checked out PETA and read their newsletters, etc. My sister, Wendy, is a vegetarian and has been for many, many years. We've talked about it before and although I always thought it would coincide more with my beliefs, I never made that change. Call it laziness or what ever but I just never did it even though I absolutely 100% love animals and do not wish any sort of harm to them.

I watched a video called "Meet Your Meat." I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Poor chicks that are forced to eat and eat and they eat so much and grow so quickly their bones can't handle it - their legs break, they flop around, they can't get to water and a lot of the time die right next to a feeder or water but couldn't reach it due to their lame limbs. It was horrifying watching the cattle that also couldn't even walk themselves down the conveyer because their bones were as well either broken or lame due to the conditions that they suffered in. Throats being slit, animals falling off of the hooks they were put on and writhing around in their own blood. How could I not remember all of this was happening?

I suppose it is a testament to our willful blindness to these horrific acts that are happening daily. I'm not one to eat meat on a daily basis but I have definitely enjoyed a trip or two to the Brazil Grill where it is advertised as "All you can eat meat." Oh - how could I?! Well, I guess all I can do is make changes now and forgive and forget what I have done in the past and remain true to my beliefs in that animals should be treated humanely and should live normal, natural lives just like most everyone else.

I feel like me giving up meat just isn't enough though. What more can I do? I feel so helpless and wish there were more I could do but there are just so many people who could care less about a 6-week old chicken being hauled off to the slaughterhouse. I cannot imagine - never seeing the light of day. Never feeling the earth; grass. Never to breathe fresh air or feel free to roam around at my will. Horrifying. I know it's a downer subject but something very important to me. What ever it takes - I am going to make that change and be true to who I am and what I have always believed in. If you know of something more that I (we all) can do, please share!

Guys and Loud Music

2008-06-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've lived in Portland almost 10 years now and I don't think I have ever, EVER lived above anyone that hasn't been a single guy that LOVES to play his ghetto-thug music or his German Dance nnnn-ssttkkk, nnnn-ssttkkk, nnnn-ssttkkk music LOUD. I maybe, just might have gotten a years reprieve when I lived on NW 21st and Kearney but all I know is it didn't last long.

So here we come to the year 2006. I score a new place, the upper unit in a duplex, above the son of an old Manager of mine. Awesome! He's older - 39 or so? I'm thinking, ahhh-yes. Finally! No young insecure guy (possibly gay - not that there's anything wrong with that) blaring his stupid ass music until one in the morning! YES!!!!!!!

NO.

Ohh, boy, was I wrong. Guys - how old do you have to be to finally realize that no one wants to listen to your stupidly BAD ghetto rap music (think Michael Bolton in Office Space) with the bass turned up all the way?! Now, I know you're trying to impress the ladies and you bring them over and all that good stuff but seriously. Turn the freaking music DOWN! At least stop playing it by 9pm. Now, don't think I haven't already asked him to try and keep it down because I'm an old lady and go to bed pretty early and that friggin' bass just keeps me up, because I have. Yet it still happens and the bad thing is his living room is under my bedroom so when he's up, I'm up. The flip side to that, just to be fair, is my living room is above his bedroom so when I'm listening/watching my obnoxious shows (i.e. So You Think You Can Dance) until 10pm with the volume turned up to 37, I guess I'm kind of doing the same thing. But the thing is - this man does not own a pair of headphones and never sleeps.

And I do.

Vegas, Baby!

2008-06-17T21:22:00.000-07:00

So, I spent a good part of today booking my ticket to Vegas in November right around Veterans' Day. My good friend Sam invited me as he and a friend/co-worker are going and staying in her Mom's timeshare. I'm pretty excited about it - bummed that Robert and I don't have any trips planned right now but that's understandable considering the circumstances. Anyhow, I will be there for 5 nights which should be a blast and we'll probably go see a show or something. I'm looking forward to the heat and Sam is always a lot of fun to spend time with. He is low stress and lots of fun! I guess that's why he also made a great roommate even if for only 6 months!

Trips are great. It's nice to get away, enjoy some scenery different than boring old Portland, Oregon. I'm sure Ahab won't be pleased. Poor Ahab - I should take him on a trip some time to get him out of this stale, old house. I've started taking Ahab outside while supervised. I sit out on the main front porch and he just kind of wanders around, nervously at times, and sniffs things. He's always loved to smell things. I don't know why - do all cats do that? I think my cat is definitely a "special" cat and he might possibly have some idiosyncrasies that are fairly unique. Like pawing at plastic bags until I can't take it anymore!

Covering the Silence

2008-06-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

It's interesting how a movie will build emotion and keep building and then when you least expect it, it hits you. I've always wanted to see the movie "The Hours." I have heard great things about it and was especially interested in seeing Nicole Kidman with the prosthetic nose. I don't know if it is because I knew there were some pretty great female actors in this film that drew me to it or if it was because it drew on Virginia Woolf who I have actually never read, if you can believe that.

I started watching it and was immediately grabbed by it; these amazing women, the music, the story. It was so sad. So introspective. Each detail I found incredible and the entire time found myself waiting for the next word. Hanging on for that next piece. The next look and then, towards the end, when Clarissa's daughter, Julia, hugs Laura Brown, old and alone - I lost it. All of the build up and here it is. Overwhelming, sad and dead.

I recommend to anyone that enjoys a great story full of emotion and sadness to watch "The Hours." Meryl Streep is amazing. Everyone is amazing. Moving. Alive and yet so dead. Emotionless figures that have given up, that fear giving up. I didn't want it to end. And yet it did.

Picking a Book Club Pick

2008-06-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

So I've been in a book club for a little over one year now and it's been great! We have already seen some people come and some people go but it has definitely been a good experience.

Now, it's my chance to pick my second pick for everyone to enjoy. This is hard. This is pressure. It's not easy! The first time around was a no-brainer for me. I was going to pick something written by an old college professor of mine, Duff Brenna. I knew his stuff - I thought it would be something different, something a bit more literary than our previous picks. Something a bit more studious that followed all of the rules of writing and that would capture. That would intrigue. That would push buttons. That would disgust. That might inspire. "The Book of Mamie" did ALL of those and more. One girl even announced that she would never, ever, EVER finish reading the book it touched such a nerve with her.

Well, I did it the first time, now what in the hell was I going to do the second time around? Am I going to be so perplexed when it comes to choice number three?

Wow......I hope not. Hopefully this is how second albums are for artists. They're not the best. You're thinking way too much about it that it just might bomb. Okay, okay - it shouldn't be this big of a deal.

But it was.

Now, I finally made my decision. FINALLY! I had to read the first few pages of about 10 books before I could decide. I've always loved Toni Morrison. I love true, true novels, what ever those might be. In my head I think I know.

She touches. She moves. She inspires and I haven't read any of her books in a very long while. And so it is time. It is time for a lot of things and it is time once again to delve into the mind of such a great author as Toni Morrison.

I picked "Jazz." I'm really excited. It's an older selection of hers from 1992. We've been reading a lot more current books and I think it will be nice to go back a bit and experience the genius of Ms. Morrison. Hopefully the rest of our book club members will agree.

I'll keep you posted! :o)

Bless Animals...

2008-06-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

I love animals. I love everything about them. Their grumpy moods, their cute and innocent looks, the way they smell and how they smell, the funny things they do and just how curious they are by nature!

I found the picture above while doing a google images search and it just made me laugh out loud. Why do animals make us laugh so easily? Have you ever watched America's Funniest Videos? Then you will know that more often than not a video with an animal that does something funny wins! Why do I think this is? Because animals do funny things without knowing it. They're not staging anything they are just being them and that is what makes them so funny. It is also a very important lesson to us all.

Be who you are. Be open, honest and innocent. Do the things that you love and put extra emphasis on the things that make you happy. Be smart and be curious - those who love you will love you even more. Try it for a day, a few hours or a week! See if anything changes. :o)

Fabulous!

2008-05-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so a few of my crazy friends and I went to the Midnight showing last night of the "Sex and the City" movie! It was awesome, of course. Yes, we cried - yes, it plays with your emotions as did the Series and I absolutely loved every minute of it!! The clothes/fashion were spectacular and of course a little over the top, the shoes were to die for and the ladies are just as beautiful as ever.

I'm really happy that we went and thankful for having a friend like Betsy to share these memories with. Her sister, Bev was an absolute beautiful riot all night and her friend Melissa was a total pleasure to meet (and she's pregnant!!) Talk about die-hards, huh??

Thank you to Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda for bringing the four of us together last night, for sneaking Bev's "Perfect Cosmo's" into the theater and for making us all laugh, cry and just be. :o)

Changes

2008-05-29T11:13:00.001-07:00

2008 has been an interesting year, to say the least. There have been quite a few changes in my life and in the lives of so many others so far and it is only May! An interesting thing - I was talking about this with someone a few months ago and about a month after we had this discussion we were talking about our friendship and how it had changed and how that made us both feel. It is interesting how certain individuals are brought into and out of our lives and why. Why were we friends for only 6 years and why did I feel that it was time to move on? A good friend of mine, Lucy Loew , once told me that friends are here for a reason, a season or for life. That will always stay with me and it makes complete sense.

It isn't for me to completely understand why things happen the way they do and in fact is probably good as I can't control everything and these kinds of "things" keep me in check. It also doesn't make sense to simply stay friends with someone just because or because you have already known each other for so long. If that person is no longer good for you or isn't a good influence then why stay friends with them? I have always struggled with saying goodbye in friendships - who wouldn't?

Anyway, there it is. Changes. They are happening and whether they be good, bad or what ever, there they are. And there they always will be.

Beginnings

2008-05-29T10:54:00.000-07:00

And so it begins. I have been craving to start my very own blog for some time now. I've checked out quite a few and always enjoy reading others ideas, thoughts, ideals, etc. I believe now is the time for my own blog to begin. For my own new beginning and for a new creative outlet that I have never before explored.

I'd like to share with everyone a wonderful site that has been pretty inspiring to me and has also kept me on track with my goals. It is http://www.43things.com/. This site was shared with me about 3 years ago and I have kept up with updating my entries, changing/adding goals, etc. It's a lot of fun and almost like a blog but with more of a goal-oriented purpose. Check it out!

I'm going to keep my first post short and sweet so as not to overwhelm but really want to thank all of the inspiring people out there in the world who make each day unique and full of life. Each day I realize how lucky I am to be living the life that I do and although some days are hard and other days are full of obstacles - the world never ceases to amaze me. Thank you world!