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01 November 2011

Tired


I know I have a good life. I know this, but dear God, I am SO tired of feeling taken advantage of. It never seems to end and call me a complainer but I don't feel like this is a complaint; it's my life struggle (we all have them) to deal with. Whether it's constantly bending over backwards for someone and never getting anything in return, or opening up to someone emotionally and never even knowing things about them until it's too late, being super generous and never seeing anything in any form being given back not even time or energy, or giving an inch and them taking a mile, it seems this is my lot in life.

Can I change it? I hope so. I'm growing so tired of it....what to do? I just want things to be good, fair, and peaceful. Is that too much to ask?? ;)

On a different note, it's crazy how you can connect with a character so much it's eerie. Watching "Black Swan" recently, I connected so much with Natalie Portman's character as she faces struggles and her dealings with her mother. Maybe it's the living at home for so long and being so over-protected and naive. But wow, I think if I had stayed in that environment for much longer maybe I would have ended up as poor Nina. Hopefully not and I've made it thus far but man, the beginning of the movie reminded me SO much of me at 18, 19, 20. Super naive. Ugh. But it sure did make me miss ballet and all of the guts and glory that go into it!! Loved Black Swan!!! :)